"I was hired to help produce The Patient's Charter for the NHS in Scotland, sitting on the management committee, and working with the CEO, Don Cruickshank. Somewhat of a contrast with Love and Little Toes a proposal document I produced from an existing script by a writer in Macao for a production company in Hong Kong to help try to sell with film in LA. I wrote it and faxed it to HK and LA from a hotel in France!

"I also wrote a book on condoms during the nineties - see my book proposals.

"I was recommended by the Cabinet Office (following my work for the NHS - see left) to help the minister for transport and British Rail jazz up their Passenger's Charter in the few days before publication. Francis Maude was financial secretary to the treasury at the time and insisted it looked like a committee job - which it was. I simply re-structured it, livened up the cross-heads, and shortened some sentences, making it more accessible. Unfortunately things have got worse ever since."

"I wrote several of these whimsical ads in a retro style harking back to the sixties and the twenties. But bringing caravans up market? I don't think so."